Thursday, December 29, 2011

Fun With Google Translate

One of the things I like to amuse myself with these days is Google Chrome's 'translate' option.  When a page loads in a language that is other than your set native language, Chrome detects this and offers the option to translate.

This afternoon, due to (ahem) some rain, we decided to find an indoor playground for the kids.  These are found all over northern Germany, and I do believe they must make a killing.  What price is too high to pay for entertainment and physical exercise, when your kids have been indoors for weeks on end?

I surfed, looking for the closest spielplatz.  It was in Neumunster, about 30 minutes drive.  Here is the description (for those who read German) as originally written:

Das FUN-O Spielparadies in Owschlag lässt keine Kinderwünsche offen. Auf einer Fläche von rund 1000 qm bietet der Indoor-Spielpark viele Highlights. Ob Riesenhüpfburg oder Carrerabahn, das vielseitige Angebot an Spielgeräten macht Kinder jeden Alters glücklich.
Google's Translation:

The FUN-O paradise of games Owschlag leaves no desire to have children.  Covering an area of ​​approximately 1000 square meters of indoor play park offers many highlights. Whether giant inflatable slide or slot car track, the versatile range of music devices makes children of all ages happy.
We went, and even retained our desire to keep our children, thankfully.  They had a great time, and we did too, though we did not see any music devices.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Table Talk

We spent the past few days in Hemmoor at M's parent's place.  The original plan was that we would leave Kiel on the 23rd, so as to be there in time for Christmas, and then stay for M's dad's birthday (on the 27th).  That meant packing up pretty much everything we had just unpacked and leaving our new (temporary) home for nights.  Thankfully, M's parents agreed to instead come to Kiel or Christmas, and we went to to Hemmoor 26th-28th.

One of the things I find most difficult about staying there is the amount of time spent in front of tables full of food. I wrote about our Christmas Eve Fondue Marathon, but I did not mention that the very next morning, we met at the same table once again for Christmas Breakfast.  This consists of broetchen (little breads, otherwise known to Americans as 'rolls' - In Americun, they are named for what they produce on one's abdomen.); meat such as liverwurst, 'wurst' (German word meaning unidentified meat wrapped in intestines of some other poor animal); salami (Italian wurst), various cheeses of dubious origin, unspeakable age and unholy smell; 'salats' (mixtures of unidentified meat, cheese and vegetable mixed in mayonnaise); jams of any berry you can name; and the main course of the meal, which is Butter (No matter what you put on the bread afterwards, the first thing that goes on it is the Butter.  This especially applies if you are only eating Butter, because you find the other 'foods' are simply too frightening.  You must then apply the Butter in two layers).

That is the adult meal, of course.  The children are each given a jar of Nutella and a spoon, and are subject to disciplinary measures if they take a piece of 'wurst' or cheese and eat it without any bread (and the requisite Butter).

As I am accustomed to American North East Breakfast of coffee and then more coffee, I have a hard time sitting still for the hours it takes to pass all this food around amongst 11 or so people, all of whom are eating their 'rolls' one half at a time, sometimes even cutting the halves into quarters so as to accommodate as many of the aforementioned 'foods' as toppings.  Additionally, I am trying to avoid having to buy an extra seat to accommodate my fat butt on the plane home this July, so I have to make one 'roll' last a couple of hours.

Now, I introduced this as Christmas Breakfast, but it is really Holiday Breakfast and Birthday Breakfast and Saturday Breakfast and Sunday Breakfast and ... Pretty Much Any Day That I Do Not Have to Go to Work Breakfast (for Germans, this is an awful lot of days).

In any case, we are back home now, so tomorrow, I will have some coffee (and maybe a little yogurt).

An Open Letter

An Open Letter to a P$#^@ in a Porsche:

Dear Self-Absorbed Asshole,

A couple of days ago, you passed me on the Autobahn.  I was traveling with my husband, our two young children and our dog.

I do not know whether you are aware of this, but automobiles are not supposed to produce wake turbulence.  The speed at which you passed left our car, and pretty much my entire body, shaking.  I actually started to cry.  A blink of an eye, a sneeze, an unexpected equipment failure or a small moment of inattention could have annihilated a family.

I could be angry at you for putting our lives at risk for your own personal pleasure, but really it goes much further than that. For after you scared the living hell out of me (and my born-and-raised German husband, btw), I found, in a very, very dark spot hidden deep in my soul,  the desire to see you and your car wrapped around a signpost somewhere up ahead.  I like to think of myself as a forgiving person, but at the moment, I find it difficult to forgive you for something that merely might have happened. It is for this that I hate you.

I hope you found your way home safe and sound.  At least, I will keep telling myself that until I believe it.

I would thank you for your consideration, but I am quite sure you don't give a damn.

Sincerely,
A Fellow Motorist

Rain Stats, an Update

Today is our 20th day in Germany.  The grand total days with sunshine is now five, so it has rained (or was simply gray) 75% of our time here.  Can't help but hear the Mamas and the  Papas in my head....

All the leaves are brown,
And the sky is gray.
I'd be safe and warm,
If I was in LA (or Durham)
California (Carolina) Dreamin'
On a winter's day...

sigh.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Eve is Christmas

J and Z were completely thrilled to learn that Christmas comes early in Germany.  The way it works is this: you have to leave the house in the afternoon on Christmas Eve.  Many go to church (more on that later), but going out for a walk can work too.  While you are gone (if you are lucky - and if you have been good) the Christ Kind comes and leaves you presents!  In M's family, the adults have developed the tradition of  'checking', to be sure that the presents have arrived (in case you haven't stayed away long enough).

We went to church.  I should mention here that the owner of our house is pastor of a church in another part of the city.  The reason the family had to leave this house is that the church requires them to live in an apartment next to the church.  I must confess (pun soooo intended), I feel a bit guilty whenever I meet them, knowing that they would really rather have stayed in their house :(.  They are e really nice people too - which makes it even harder.

Anyway, about the church:  It was lovely with Roman arches and pretty stained glass.  We went for the 'Krippen Spiel' (literally, Crib Play) or the nativity play.  The kids were adorable, of course, but that really doesn't do much for a seven-year-old (especially one with spotty German), so J was quite bored.  Z had a better time, and he was also able to read the hymn lyrics and sing along.  One thing that is a bit unsettling to see is an eight-year old dressed as a very pregnant Mother Mary.   I have no idea if this is done stateside, but it definitely made an impression.

We had fondue for dinner (the meat kind).  Actually, I guess we are still having dinner.  M and parents are 'taking a break', but I think I might be finished.  We started at 6:30 and it is now 9:30, so I think it is time (the break has been going on for a while)... I find it very difficult not to clear the table, so I am looking at my computer screen.

I have discovered recently that I really hate typing, so that is enough for now... I wonder if M would type this for me, if I wrote long-hand?

Friday, December 23, 2011

A Few Random Photos

I took some pictures a while back, but it was too much for me to plug in that little wire to hook the camera to the computer.  I had to upload the Christmas tree pictures, though, so after going to all that trouble I thought I should share the other photos too:

A view from our backdoor:



Makes ya just want to rush right outside and go for a nice stroll, right?

Here's something much more interesting.  There is some sort of animal preserve just a 2 minute walk from our house.  They have some weird-looking creatures:



He looks a little sad, but you would be too, if you were standing barefoot in this all day:



Chestnut absolutely loves the way these things smell, btw.  She can stick her head right through the fence, and often there will be a cow close enough so she can rub her nose into its fur and get a real big whiff.  She also tries to invite them to play.  What is she thinking?  Wow, what a big hairy dog.  Maybe I can get it to chase me...

The day we toured the potteries, we also stopped by to see a real German U-boat:


We actually had the whole sub to ourselves, because apparently even Germans do not frequent beach towns in the middle of December.  It was pretty cool, long as you keep that whole 'death machine' bit locked away in the back of your mind.

O Tannenbaum

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!  We put up our tree today:


Yes, those are REAL candles and very, very real flames.



And yes, those are straw ornaments next to the very, very real flames.  Germans like to live dangerously - at least in M's family they do.  Most other Germans use the electric lights invented last century.   M thought we might combine the traditions and add electric ones too.  What a great idea, I said, to add plastic-insulated electric wire to open flames!  We opted out of that one.

Soggy

It's still raining.
It's still raining.
Everyday.
Everyday.
Wake me when the sun shines.
Wake me when the sun shines.
Could be June.
Could be June.

The count so far: 14 days in Germany.  4 days of sun, 10 days of rain.  'They' have forecast a 'sunny Christmas' - press your thumbs...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

So Much to Tell!

So, yesterday, we went on a pottery tour of our region near Kiel.  We interviewed two potters, both of whom explained that in Germany, there are 3 distinct groups of potters:  There are ceramic artists, ceramic craftspeople and hobbyists.  There is apparently very little mixing among the groups.  What that means, is either you train as an artist at the kunsthochschule, or you work as an apprentice to a master craftsperson, or you can take a once per week class at the volkshochschule, with no studio hours other than the one hour class at the school.  Hmmm...  These are things that point out aspects of America that I really, really like, and often, take completely for granted.  Our lines are often blurred, allowing us to define ourselves in a much more fluid style.  That suits me, and  I miss that here.  Interestingly, the Germans themselves seem to find this an admirable quality in Americans.

We did find out that one can rent wheels for 60 euro per month.  I may just set up something here in the shed.  Still have hope!  Oh, and I have to thank Martin publicly for arranging this tour and not only recognizing how important this is for me, but also to set aside time to make it a priority.

Now, as for today's events, we went here:

http://www.holstentherme.de/pages/startseite/anfahrt.php

Follow the link.  I am telling you, it is something you need to see.  It is probably the closest I will get to the Carribean  getaway that I was initially promised....  it was great, great fun, though!  It is heartening to know that northern Germans have found a way to escape their winter 'wunderland'.

After floating around in the 32 degrees C pools, we drove over to Martin's sister's place, where we left the children to go feral with their cousins, while Martin and I hunted for Christmas spoils.  We were looking for candle holders for the christmas tree.  I was heartened when the cashier expressed great disbelief when Martin said that he intended to use real candles on the tree.  Very funny when something that was once 'so German' becomes really something that is just so 20th Century.

One more thing about the shopping trip.  We found yet another MEGA MEGA store.  It is the upscale IKEA, but they also have clothing and toys and other goodies.  It is called:

http://dodenhof.de/index.php

Again, the place is ginourmous, and the entire outside of the building is decorated in tiny, flashing, white christmas lights.  The elevator (glass walls, of course) is in the middle of the store (which is 4 or 5 stories).


Ok, It is time for me to watch some German TV now....

Monday, December 19, 2011

Sunshine on My Shoulder

For all you Cliff de Young fans out there... There was sunshine on my shoulders for the past 3 days!  That's right, 3 straight days of sunshine (ok, 'days' are only about 7 hours long - but still!).  We saw blue skies and went on walks (I skipped, so giddy and full of vitamin D was I.)  The boys are hoping for a white Christmas, but my favorite color is blue...

I was very busy trying to expose my psyche to as much light as possible, so I didn't take any pictures.  Hopefully, there will be a couple more days with sun while we are here and I can take a few shots to post for y'all.  (Is anyone other than Liz reading this?  Should I be addressing these as personal letters?)

A Trip to the CITTI

In an earlier post, I described our first trip to the city center.  Today, we went to a different CITTI.  There is a shopping mall here called 'CITTI PARK', and at a superficial glance, it looks like an ordinary shopping mall, not very different from malls in the states (except that the food court is substantially smaller).  We walked around, looking for coat hangers and brooms and other boring stuff.  We ate pizza to keep the kids from turning into demonic beasts (they don't particularly care for broom shopping).

We decided to end our trip with a short grocery run at a grocery store called 'CITTI'.  We did not foresee quite how descriptive that name really is.  The place (http://www.cittimarkt.de/) is the size of a small city.  Ok, that is a slight exaggeration, but this place really has to be several times larger than the largest Walmart Super Store I have ever seen.  It is not just a grocery store.  It is a department store, grocery, wine warehouse (I am thinking I may just pitch a tent in there.  I am pretty sure no one would notice.), hardware store - you name it.  We found our hangers, our broom, some dog food... The dog food is from Sweden, and the label declares:

 Magnusson Meat
No Meat Meal
Only Fresh Swedish Meat, Carrots and Fresh Eggs

This is not a translation.  The label is in English.  I really don't think I want to know what kind of 'Fresh Swedish Meat' is in this product, but I think Chestnut will like it, whatever it is.

Oh, and the 'candy isle' is about 15 isles.  Germans, it seems, have quite the sweet tooth.  We bought 5 packs of Zimmtsterne  (Zach wants to send some to his classmates back home... any bets how many packs are left after Christmas?  Winner gets the empty boxes.)

I wish I had taken a camera, but who knew?

One more thing - if you want to find CITTI PARK, guess where it is.  Right across from IKEA, of course!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

A trip to the City

I was pretty disappointed this morning when  I woke up and saw that the clear day that weather.com had predicted did not materialize.  It wasn't raining though, so a slight improvement. Just gray and cold and damp.
Worse though, the 10-day forecast is nothing but showers (oh, except for the rain-mixed-with-snow).  Weather.com and I are no longer speaking.

We (Jo and I) dragged the kids to the city center today.  We got completely lost and ended up, of all places, at IKEA.  We didn't go in, but it was pretty funny to land there randomly.  Turns out Kiel is rather complicated to navigate via car. It took about 45 minutes to find our destination (the Altstadt), though it should be a less than  15 minute drive.  We managed to get lost on the way back too!  Even funnier, we ended up somehow at the same place we meandered through while trying to get home from IKEA...  Altstadt and IKEA are pretty much on opposite sides of the city.  My conclusion?  In Germany, all roads lead to IKEA (except the ones that go to ALDI, but that is for another story).

I think I can find my way back to the Weinacht's markt (Christmas market), so we did get something accomplished - and - I didn't drive on any bike paths.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Another Day, another rain drop

So, today we had only rainy weather.  No wind.  We were able to walk outside for a few minutes before Z started to protest.  His hands were cold. his ears were cold, and by the way it is raining again.... can we go home now?  Please Mommy.

We tried again a few hours later, and it went better.   Not much rain falling. and walking through mud didn't seem insurmountable.

I do not have permission to go to IKEA again, but when I am in better graces, I can report on our spoils.  I really need a dresser.... I also really need a clothes dryer....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Today's adventures

So, today we waited for the wind and rain to stop, and for my friend Jo to arrive.  I didn't know when she was arriving and because my phone was not working, she couldn't tell me...she did make it here, at about 3:30.

Poor jo,

I dragged her to IKEA to buy a couple of dressers so we can start putting the clothes away.  I was an ok trip, but since it was so late in the afternoon when we left, it had gotten dark.  Now, I had a navigator - something absolutely crucial for those of us with seriously impaired night vision.  Somehow, we missed the turnoff and went on until it was clear we were very far from town and we should turn around.  When I tried to turnaround, I entered what I thought was a parking place.  Apparently, this was the bike/walk lane.  My Bad.

j

Monday, December 12, 2011

We are in Kiel!

So, we made it all the way to Kiel!

We actually arrived last night and slept here, so it is really home now.  I slept 12 hours. Happy, lucky me.  The only one who has gotten more sleep is Chestnut:
 

The blanket she is sleeping on is a gift from my MIL.  MIL is not  a 'dog person', and in fact, as a child she was once bitten by the family dog and has been hesitant around canines ever since.  That is, until she laid eyes on this particular pup.   Definitely a special creature :)

As I write, I have the television on in the background.  I have just discovered something I would have thought was an oxymoron:  German stand-up comedy.  I changed to CNN international.  I want to protect some stereotypes, thank you very much.



Anyway,  the kids are very happy here, though I told them tomorrow they will have to go outside.  (Why mama, why do we have to go outside?)



No, I can't figure out how to rotate this.


I was surprised to see the sun a bit last Friday morning, and I think a little yesterday (through the gray haze).  It may actually be partly cloudy next Thursday (fingers crossed!). I wonder if there will be a line to get into the playground?



M was kind enough to put out some of my pots, with effective lighting and all!  Very thoughtful, I think.




M is off to Brussels, of course, so I am here on my own with the boys.  He'll be back Friday, so it is a short trip.  He said that he doesn't " want to go, if that makes it any better". "No, I said, it doesn't make it better. If you had said, "I am going to have such a great time.", then it would be appropriate for me to be angry.  But I don't get to be angry, because it sucks for him too... shouldn't there be some kind of ying-yang principle to apply here?

Oh - random thought.  I went shoe shopping today (apparently wearing shoes that are not waterproof and warm makes for an uncomfortable winter).   I turns out, Germans do not typically make the same shoe in narrow, medium and wide widths.  There are shoes that are 'wide', and those are the ones a freak like me needs to buy.  And they are quite a bit less attractive than the 'normal' width shoes.

We found a pair at gut zu fuss.  Nice, but at 165 euro, they better be.  At least they fit.

Friday, December 9, 2011

We arrived...

... safe and for the most part sound.  Chestnut braved the flights well and is currently in a very deep sleep.  Z is also sleeping, though we tried to wake him via bribery with cookies and stollen, but he just rolled over and pulled the covers up tighter.  J is wide awake and playing board games with Oma.  How does he do that?  M is also amazingly chipper.  I did not sleep a wink on the flight, so I have been awake for just over 24 hours now.  I plan to be unconscious quite soon...

I will try to make future posts more entertaining - just don't have it in me right now!