Pentecost Monday (Pfingsten)???

I have a confession to make: I was raised Catholic.  Get it?  Confession?  Catholic...

One intentionally bad pun out of the way, lets talk about the recent German holiday.  First, to be fair, many other nations celebrate this holiday.  It's not just the Germans - though I am willing to bet no one celebrates it for quite as long... You'll see...

Growing up, we had 'holidays' such as Ascension Thursday, Pentecost Sunday, etc.  Because I lived in a Catholic/Jewish neighborhood, we had both the Christian and Jewish holidays off from school, so Good Friday was always a day off, as was Rosh Hashanna or Yom Kippur.  Of course, in my family, we were compelled to go to church on these 'holy days of obligation', and most of the Jewish kids went to temple for the Jewish holy days.  After church was another story, of course.  But you didn't take off for a long weekend.  You had church in the morning!  And if you skipped, this was a venial sin and you needed to go to confession, do your penance and be absolved so that you had a clean soul and could accept Communion the coming Sunday.  Of course, you could beat your wife and kids, nothing in the Bible against that, so no prob.  But you had to go to Mass.

Also, Easter and Pentecost were Sunday holidays.  This means you don't get an extra day off.  No 'Easter Monday'.  No 'Pentecost Monday'.  Holiday falls on Sunday, too bad.  At least, you don't have an extra day of mass that week.

This is all background, so that you can see how I sit in awe as I watch the Germans 'celebrate' these holidays.  The week of 'Himmelfahrt', J had the whole week off from school.  Not just Thursday.  The entire week!  Z had Thursday and Friday off - and then had the entire following week off for 'Pfingsten'.  J had to go to school that week - but they had all kinds of fun activities not associated directly to academics.  I assume that is because half the kids weren't there, because their older siblings in Gymnasium had the week off, and the family went on 'holiday'.

How in heaven's name (Ha ha. Second bad pun) does this country have the strongest economy in Europe?

Z spent the long weekend learning to wind surf with his soccer team.  We picked him up and on the way home, Z asked if M had read about a particular handball match in the paper.  M said in a very casual tone, "Oh, there is no paper today.  It's a holiday. "  This  conversation took place in German, so I had to clarify: "Wait.  There is no newspaper today?"  M looked at me as though I were insane.  "Of course not.  It's a holiday."  I started to break out into a cold sweat... "Are the HOSPITALS open????"  WTF??

We discussed the newspaper thing a bit, and at some point, I learned that the Kieler Nachrichten does not have a Sunday edition.  I could not hide my bewilderment.  M asked, "Well, does the NY Times have a paper on Sunday?"

Oh Crap.  We need to get back to the States. ASAP.

Canines and Canoes

I have the best dog in the Universe.

Ok.  I cannot speak for the entire Universe, as I have no idea what extra-terrestrial dogs are like, even in general - but - at the very least, I am continually impressed with my little Magnificent Mutt.

We went on a little canoe tour today. (We being myself, M and J.  Z is off on a sailing/windsurfing weekend with the Fussball team.  I know.  Nice life.)  Oh, and Chestnut came with.  Yes, our lovely little doggie in a canoe.  We paddled for about 3 hours.  At first, she pawed at the water over the side, and I feared she might jump ship.  (I actually asked the 'Canoe Guy' if they had life vests for dogs.  M was mortified.  I maintain that such things exist: http://www.walmart.com/search/search-ng.do?search_query=Dog%20Life%20Jacket&adid=22222222220018693521&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=b&wl1=g&wl2=&wl3=15218855138&wl4= .  And, you can get them at Walmart....)

Chesnut stayed aboard, very interested in the ducks and various other waterfowl.  But she never barked, never whined - even though she was a bit nervous at first.  After a while, she just did what she always does at home.  She just curled up and went to sleep.

A fein Hund indeed.

The Postman Rings Once

This happened a couple of months ago, but it is the kind of thing could only happen in Germany, so I thought it is worth relaying, even much after the fact.

One day, I was, well, lets just say 'busy' (hint: kids were at school, M works at home).  The doorbell rings.  I hurriedly make myself presentable and run downstairs to answer, swearing under my breath that if this is a klingelstreich (kids ring and run) I will wring some little German necks.

I open the door, and the postman is there.  He starts to interrogate me auf Deutsch.  My confused stare goes unnoticed for a while, and I am picking up bits and pieces, such as he seems to be asking about the former occupants.  I stammer something that I think means they do not live here anymore.  I still don't quite know what he is talking about, but his tone is admonishing.  "Verstehen Sie?"  Ah, now that one I know.  He is asking if I understand.  "Uhhhh....  No.  I mean, Nein."  Now he looks angrier.  More harsh Deutsch. "Ummm.... Wie bitte?"  Deep sigh from the postman, he hands me two pieces of mail, points to the mailbox and says:

"No Name, No Post!"

And he leaves.  Ohhhhh!  It was starting to make sense.  M had painstakingly put our names on a strip of paper, then had taped them very carefully over the names of the owners (and most recent residents) on the mailbox.  The ink had faded away, due to - you guessed it - The Rain. I really had wondered why on earth he would bother with such a thing, but M often gives great attention to weird things that I find unimportant (mopping floors, arranging furniture, making the bed, for example), so I just put it into the 'ok, whatever' category.  Turns out, if you want mail in Germany, you need to have your name on the mailbox. I guess that is so important mail doesn't fall into the wrong hands.  I look down at the items in my hand:

A flyer for the local supermarket and some Burger King coupons.  Whew.  That was a close one.

Happy Himmelfahrt and Vaterstag

Ok.  The kids are with grandparents and I am tired of depressing myself by looking at weather forecasts and general climate info, so I figured I'd write a bit.

First, some weather-related notes:  Turns out, the summer I have been waiting for isn't actually coming.  The high temp here in June hovers around - get this - 68 degrees Fahrenheit.  While there are about 17 hours of daylight, only about 8 hours per day is actually sunny.  My dreams of hitting the outdoor swimming pool or the beach are looking a whole lot less attractive.  When I get back to NC, I will soak up the heat like a bone dry sponge taking in water.  If you are standing next to me, do not be surprised to feel a chill or even a slight breeze as a result of the sudden temperature gradient.

So, what's new?  Well, today is a holiday in Germany.  Ok.  That's not news.  There is a holiday here every other week.  But it was news to me today.  Not the holiday part, but I forgot that this means all the stores are closed again.  I have gotten used to the Sunday thing (sort of), but when there is a truly obscure holiday on a Thursday, it comes as a bit of a shock to see the whole place close down.

Now for the best part.  What holiday is today?  In English, it is the Ascension.  When the Holy Ghost appears to the apostles and then ascends into heaven.  Or something like that.  The Germans call it 'Himmelfahrt', which is now officially my favorite German word.  Translated literally, it means 'heaven drive'.  I imagine Jesus behind the wheel of a V.W. bus, driving himself up to heaven. Of course, my Jesus looks just like Ted Neely in Jesus Christ Superstar, so it needs to be a V.W. bus.  He is listening to a cassette tape recording of 'Magic Carpet Ride' and grooving to the beat.  Could it be a Volvo?  Or a Prius, perhaps.  Could he be listening to Springsteen or Telemann or earsplitting German techno-pop? Sure.  Pick your own Jesus image and the associated vehicle and song.

What do the Germans do on this Oh-So-Sacred holiday (so sacred that the kids get not one, but two days off from school!)?  Well, it is also Vaterstag (Father's day).  That's nice.  Dads and Moms and kids, all go to church and then spend the day together... No, actually, not at all.  First, the Germans only go to church for baptisms, confirmations, weddings and funerals.  Some go at Christmas and Easter too, but that's just to watch the little plays the kids put on.  Second, Father's day is for Fathers - not families.  The Dads leave the kids with Mom, and then go out drinking together.  It's a good thing Jesus was single.  He could end up with a DUI.

Most people know that I am (ahem) not a church-going person.  But really, if you are going to take the day off in the name of a holy day, shouldn't you go to church?  If not, either rename the day (ItIsMayAndIWantAnotherDayOff Day? HowCanAPersonSurviveOnOnlySixWeeksVacation Day?) or get your butt to work - so I can go to the stupid grocery store.