am a food snob. I cannot deny it. If the produce is not organic, keep it. If the meat is not free-range, hemical free and happily smiling before slaughter, I do not want it. Also, I like to cook. "What's for dinner mom?" "Pistachio-encrusted tilapia with sauteed chard and roasted root vegetables, honey."
I have really grown accustomed to the wide variety of beautiful (yes, truly, truly beautiful) vegetables and fruits that are available from local sources in my home in NC. I miss them.
I have found some markets here in Kiel that have some lovely offerings. But certain things simply do not grow anywhere nearby. One of those: tomatoes. I love tomatoes - but only when they are fresh, ripe and sweet. The peel should be delicate, indeed, barely noticeable.
Tomatoes do not grow in Kiel. I know this will be a shocker - but it rains too much. Plus, it is too cold. If I were a tomato plant, I would not grow fruit here. Why bring offspring into such a hostile climate? It would be irresponsible at best. At worst, cruel.
The only tomatoes to be had are the grocery store variety - and those are even worse than grocery store tomatoes in the states! I know, you are thinking, "How is that possible?". I think that the reason is transport. In order to travel to Germany, from say, Spain, it needs to be bruise-proof. This results in a 'peel' that is very much like a melon rind. When was the last time you bit into a melon with the rind on? That is what it is like to eat a grocery store tomato in Germany. Also, I have kept tomatoes on the counter-top for several weeks without spoilage. That simply should not happen.
I know I should just give up and stop buying tomatoes - but the available vegetable list is pretty short here, especially if you look for organic: We have peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms, broccoli, carrots, cucumber, eggplant, zucchini and (a German staple) asparagus. Occasionally, I will find some lettuce or salad mix. I found some fresh cilantro recently, and M remarked that I looked like someone just handed me a dozen roses...
Silly man. You cannot eat roses!
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Thursday, June 7, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Busy Weekend
It was a busy weekend here in Suchsdorf. On Saturday, there was a neighborhood 'Kinderfest' - kinda like a carnival, with games, food and beer. (I think it is illegal in Germany to have a social event and not serve beer. It is probably in the same section with the 'purity laws'.)
I found myself feeling very much at home: I volunteered to help out, and ended up selling sweets at the bake sale. I think the other helpers may have thought I was a bit daft to voluntarily sell cakes and thus struggle through with (very, very) broken German. Worse yet - I was having fun. I know most people might find that silly, but I really enjoyed it. Especially when the 5- to 6-year-olds passed by the table. The cakes were exactly at eye-level for kids that size, and the looks on the faces displayed sheer wonder. Z helped me by collecting money (something he enjoys very much) and acting as interpreter when I was hopelessly lost (something he enjoys a bit less). M had just returned from a trip to NY, and when he saw me at the cake table, he ran home to get the camera - so I have photographic evidence that this actually took place...
On Sunday, there was a 'flohmarkt' (flea market). It really was more like a neighborhood-wide yard sale. I took the opportunity to offer some of my pots for sale. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot of purchasing going on, even for the 10 cent toy cars and cheap used clothing, so I only sold a few items. But - it was lovely to hang out there, meeting people, and having some admire pots, even if they didn't buy. I did sell a large bowl and a tumbler. Well, actually 3 tumblers - but the other two probably don't count.
There was a little boy, about 5-years-old, who came up to the table several times. First, he asked the price of a tumbler (just 5 euro, which is actually pretty cheap) - I said I would take 2.50... He asked to have it for free...I declined. Another time, he asked to take a piece home to show his mother. I said, ok, but he was doing the pee-pee dance, so we sent him to go to the bathroom first. He returned, and asked to bring a pitcher home to show his mom. The pitchers were a bit big for a kid his size to reasonably carry without breaking, so M and I offered some smaller pieces. He said nevermind... The next time he came back, he handed me 20 euro cents and asked what he could buy with that. He had picked up one of my agateware tumblers several times, so I said, "You can have this one." He grinned a huge grin, and said it was a gift for his mom... I gave him two, wrapped carefully in a ton of newspaper. I hope they made it home in one piece.
There was also a little girl, about 8 or 9. She visited us even more frequently than the little boy. M asked which one she liked best, and she said, "All of them!". Yeah, kid, you got my number. At one point, she passed by with her mother, saying "Mama, look! Alles selbst gemacht!" (All are hand made!) The mom didn't even turn her head, so I guess she was not interested in pots. The daughter though, she stopped by a few more times to look. (I really wish I could line up a job teaching kids to work with clay. Unfortunately, such positions are in high demand and don't pay a living wage... ) I found her again when we were packing up. I told her to pick whatever she wanted and she could have it as a gift. It took her a few minutes to settle on a small bowl, slip decorated in red, yellow and orange. I was paid with a brilliant smile.
The other tumbler was purchased by two teen-aged girls. I am left to wonder: what is it about my pots that attract such young people? Many of the adults came by to look and admire - but none nearly as wide-eyed as the kids. I would not have expected children to have such a reaction to pottery.
All in all, it was a very nice weekend. I miss our neighborhood at home so much - it was nice to feel a bit a part of this one.
I found myself feeling very much at home: I volunteered to help out, and ended up selling sweets at the bake sale. I think the other helpers may have thought I was a bit daft to voluntarily sell cakes and thus struggle through with (very, very) broken German. Worse yet - I was having fun. I know most people might find that silly, but I really enjoyed it. Especially when the 5- to 6-year-olds passed by the table. The cakes were exactly at eye-level for kids that size, and the looks on the faces displayed sheer wonder. Z helped me by collecting money (something he enjoys very much) and acting as interpreter when I was hopelessly lost (something he enjoys a bit less). M had just returned from a trip to NY, and when he saw me at the cake table, he ran home to get the camera - so I have photographic evidence that this actually took place...
On Sunday, there was a 'flohmarkt' (flea market). It really was more like a neighborhood-wide yard sale. I took the opportunity to offer some of my pots for sale. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot of purchasing going on, even for the 10 cent toy cars and cheap used clothing, so I only sold a few items. But - it was lovely to hang out there, meeting people, and having some admire pots, even if they didn't buy. I did sell a large bowl and a tumbler. Well, actually 3 tumblers - but the other two probably don't count.
There was a little boy, about 5-years-old, who came up to the table several times. First, he asked the price of a tumbler (just 5 euro, which is actually pretty cheap) - I said I would take 2.50... He asked to have it for free...I declined. Another time, he asked to take a piece home to show his mother. I said, ok, but he was doing the pee-pee dance, so we sent him to go to the bathroom first. He returned, and asked to bring a pitcher home to show his mom. The pitchers were a bit big for a kid his size to reasonably carry without breaking, so M and I offered some smaller pieces. He said nevermind... The next time he came back, he handed me 20 euro cents and asked what he could buy with that. He had picked up one of my agateware tumblers several times, so I said, "You can have this one." He grinned a huge grin, and said it was a gift for his mom... I gave him two, wrapped carefully in a ton of newspaper. I hope they made it home in one piece.
There was also a little girl, about 8 or 9. She visited us even more frequently than the little boy. M asked which one she liked best, and she said, "All of them!". Yeah, kid, you got my number. At one point, she passed by with her mother, saying "Mama, look! Alles selbst gemacht!" (All are hand made!) The mom didn't even turn her head, so I guess she was not interested in pots. The daughter though, she stopped by a few more times to look. (I really wish I could line up a job teaching kids to work with clay. Unfortunately, such positions are in high demand and don't pay a living wage... ) I found her again when we were packing up. I told her to pick whatever she wanted and she could have it as a gift. It took her a few minutes to settle on a small bowl, slip decorated in red, yellow and orange. I was paid with a brilliant smile.
The other tumbler was purchased by two teen-aged girls. I am left to wonder: what is it about my pots that attract such young people? Many of the adults came by to look and admire - but none nearly as wide-eyed as the kids. I would not have expected children to have such a reaction to pottery.
All in all, it was a very nice weekend. I miss our neighborhood at home so much - it was nice to feel a bit a part of this one.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Pentecost Monday (Pfingsten)???
I have a confession to make: I was raised Catholic. Get it? Confession? Catholic...
One intentionally bad pun out of the way, lets talk about the recent German holiday. First, to be fair, many other nations celebrate this holiday. It's not just the Germans - though I am willing to bet no one celebrates it for quite as long... You'll see...
Growing up, we had 'holidays' such as Ascension Thursday, Pentecost Sunday, etc. Because I lived in a Catholic/Jewish neighborhood, we had both the Christian and Jewish holidays off from school, so Good Friday was always a day off, as was Rosh Hashanna or Yom Kippur. Of course, in my family, we were compelled to go to church on these 'holy days of obligation', and most of the Jewish kids went to temple for the Jewish holy days. After church was another story, of course. But you didn't take off for a long weekend. You had church in the morning! And if you skipped, this was a venial sin and you needed to go to confession, do your penance and be absolved so that you had a clean soul and could accept Communion the coming Sunday. Of course, you could beat your wife and kids, nothing in the Bible against that, so no prob. But you had to go to Mass.
Also, Easter and Pentecost were Sunday holidays. This means you don't get an extra day off. No 'Easter Monday'. No 'Pentecost Monday'. Holiday falls on Sunday, too bad. At least, you don't have an extra day of mass that week.
This is all background, so that you can see how I sit in awe as I watch the Germans 'celebrate' these holidays. The week of 'Himmelfahrt', J had the whole week off from school. Not just Thursday. The entire week! Z had Thursday and Friday off - and then had the entire following week off for 'Pfingsten'. J had to go to school that week - but they had all kinds of fun activities not associated directly to academics. I assume that is because half the kids weren't there, because their older siblings in Gymnasium had the week off, and the family went on 'holiday'.
How in heaven's name (Ha ha. Second bad pun) does this country have the strongest economy in Europe?
Z spent the long weekend learning to wind surf with his soccer team. We picked him up and on the way home, Z asked if M had read about a particular handball match in the paper. M said in a very casual tone, "Oh, there is no paper today. It's a holiday. " This conversation took place in German, so I had to clarify: "Wait. There is no newspaper today?" M looked at me as though I were insane. "Of course not. It's a holiday." I started to break out into a cold sweat... "Are the HOSPITALS open????" WTF??
We discussed the newspaper thing a bit, and at some point, I learned that the Kieler Nachrichten does not have a Sunday edition. I could not hide my bewilderment. M asked, "Well, does the NY Times have a paper on Sunday?"
Oh Crap. We need to get back to the States. ASAP.
One intentionally bad pun out of the way, lets talk about the recent German holiday. First, to be fair, many other nations celebrate this holiday. It's not just the Germans - though I am willing to bet no one celebrates it for quite as long... You'll see...
Growing up, we had 'holidays' such as Ascension Thursday, Pentecost Sunday, etc. Because I lived in a Catholic/Jewish neighborhood, we had both the Christian and Jewish holidays off from school, so Good Friday was always a day off, as was Rosh Hashanna or Yom Kippur. Of course, in my family, we were compelled to go to church on these 'holy days of obligation', and most of the Jewish kids went to temple for the Jewish holy days. After church was another story, of course. But you didn't take off for a long weekend. You had church in the morning! And if you skipped, this was a venial sin and you needed to go to confession, do your penance and be absolved so that you had a clean soul and could accept Communion the coming Sunday. Of course, you could beat your wife and kids, nothing in the Bible against that, so no prob. But you had to go to Mass.
Also, Easter and Pentecost were Sunday holidays. This means you don't get an extra day off. No 'Easter Monday'. No 'Pentecost Monday'. Holiday falls on Sunday, too bad. At least, you don't have an extra day of mass that week.
This is all background, so that you can see how I sit in awe as I watch the Germans 'celebrate' these holidays. The week of 'Himmelfahrt', J had the whole week off from school. Not just Thursday. The entire week! Z had Thursday and Friday off - and then had the entire following week off for 'Pfingsten'. J had to go to school that week - but they had all kinds of fun activities not associated directly to academics. I assume that is because half the kids weren't there, because their older siblings in Gymnasium had the week off, and the family went on 'holiday'.
How in heaven's name (Ha ha. Second bad pun) does this country have the strongest economy in Europe?
Z spent the long weekend learning to wind surf with his soccer team. We picked him up and on the way home, Z asked if M had read about a particular handball match in the paper. M said in a very casual tone, "Oh, there is no paper today. It's a holiday. " This conversation took place in German, so I had to clarify: "Wait. There is no newspaper today?" M looked at me as though I were insane. "Of course not. It's a holiday." I started to break out into a cold sweat... "Are the HOSPITALS open????" WTF??
We discussed the newspaper thing a bit, and at some point, I learned that the Kieler Nachrichten does not have a Sunday edition. I could not hide my bewilderment. M asked, "Well, does the NY Times have a paper on Sunday?"
Oh Crap. We need to get back to the States. ASAP.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Canines and Canoes
I have the best dog in the Universe.
Ok. I cannot speak for the entire Universe, as I have no idea what extra-terrestrial dogs are like, even in general - but - at the very least, I am continually impressed with my little Magnificent Mutt.
We went on a little canoe tour today. (We being myself, M and J. Z is off on a sailing/windsurfing weekend with the Fussball team. I know. Nice life.) Oh, and Chestnut came with. Yes, our lovely little doggie in a canoe. We paddled for about 3 hours. At first, she pawed at the water over the side, and I feared she might jump ship. (I actually asked the 'Canoe Guy' if they had life vests for dogs. M was mortified. I maintain that such things exist: http://www.walmart.com/search/search-ng.do?search_query=Dog%20Life%20Jacket&adid=22222222220018693521&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=b&wl1=g&wl2=&wl3=15218855138&wl4= . And, you can get them at Walmart....)
Chesnut stayed aboard, very interested in the ducks and various other waterfowl. But she never barked, never whined - even though she was a bit nervous at first. After a while, she just did what she always does at home. She just curled up and went to sleep.
A fein Hund indeed.
Ok. I cannot speak for the entire Universe, as I have no idea what extra-terrestrial dogs are like, even in general - but - at the very least, I am continually impressed with my little Magnificent Mutt.
We went on a little canoe tour today. (We being myself, M and J. Z is off on a sailing/windsurfing weekend with the Fussball team. I know. Nice life.) Oh, and Chestnut came with. Yes, our lovely little doggie in a canoe. We paddled for about 3 hours. At first, she pawed at the water over the side, and I feared she might jump ship. (I actually asked the 'Canoe Guy' if they had life vests for dogs. M was mortified. I maintain that such things exist: http://www.walmart.com/search/search-ng.do?search_query=Dog%20Life%20Jacket&adid=22222222220018693521&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=b&wl1=g&wl2=&wl3=15218855138&wl4= . And, you can get them at Walmart....)
Chesnut stayed aboard, very interested in the ducks and various other waterfowl. But she never barked, never whined - even though she was a bit nervous at first. After a while, she just did what she always does at home. She just curled up and went to sleep.
A fein Hund indeed.
Friday, May 18, 2012
The Postman Rings Once
This happened a couple of months ago, but it is the kind of thing could only happen in Germany, so I thought it is worth relaying, even much after the fact.
One day, I was, well, lets just say 'busy' (hint: kids were at school, M works at home). The doorbell rings. I hurriedly make myself presentable and run downstairs to answer, swearing under my breath that if this is a klingelstreich (kids ring and run) I will wring some little German necks.
I open the door, and the postman is there. He starts to interrogate me auf Deutsch. My confused stare goes unnoticed for a while, and I am picking up bits and pieces, such as he seems to be asking about the former occupants. I stammer something that I think means they do not live here anymore. I still don't quite know what he is talking about, but his tone is admonishing. "Verstehen Sie?" Ah, now that one I know. He is asking if I understand. "Uhhhh.... No. I mean, Nein." Now he looks angrier. More harsh Deutsch. "Ummm.... Wie bitte?" Deep sigh from the postman, he hands me two pieces of mail, points to the mailbox and says:
"No Name, No Post!"
And he leaves. Ohhhhh! It was starting to make sense. M had painstakingly put our names on a strip of paper, then had taped them very carefully over the names of the owners (and most recent residents) on the mailbox. The ink had faded away, due to - you guessed it - The Rain. I really had wondered why on earth he would bother with such a thing, but M often gives great attention to weird things that I find unimportant (mopping floors, arranging furniture, making the bed, for example), so I just put it into the 'ok, whatever' category. Turns out, if you want mail in Germany, you need to have your name on the mailbox. I guess that is so important mail doesn't fall into the wrong hands. I look down at the items in my hand:
A flyer for the local supermarket and some Burger King coupons. Whew. That was a close one.
One day, I was, well, lets just say 'busy' (hint: kids were at school, M works at home). The doorbell rings. I hurriedly make myself presentable and run downstairs to answer, swearing under my breath that if this is a klingelstreich (kids ring and run) I will wring some little German necks.
I open the door, and the postman is there. He starts to interrogate me auf Deutsch. My confused stare goes unnoticed for a while, and I am picking up bits and pieces, such as he seems to be asking about the former occupants. I stammer something that I think means they do not live here anymore. I still don't quite know what he is talking about, but his tone is admonishing. "Verstehen Sie?" Ah, now that one I know. He is asking if I understand. "Uhhhh.... No. I mean, Nein." Now he looks angrier. More harsh Deutsch. "Ummm.... Wie bitte?" Deep sigh from the postman, he hands me two pieces of mail, points to the mailbox and says:
"No Name, No Post!"
And he leaves. Ohhhhh! It was starting to make sense. M had painstakingly put our names on a strip of paper, then had taped them very carefully over the names of the owners (and most recent residents) on the mailbox. The ink had faded away, due to - you guessed it - The Rain. I really had wondered why on earth he would bother with such a thing, but M often gives great attention to weird things that I find unimportant (mopping floors, arranging furniture, making the bed, for example), so I just put it into the 'ok, whatever' category. Turns out, if you want mail in Germany, you need to have your name on the mailbox. I guess that is so important mail doesn't fall into the wrong hands. I look down at the items in my hand:
A flyer for the local supermarket and some Burger King coupons. Whew. That was a close one.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Happy Himmelfahrt and Vaterstag
Ok. The kids are with grandparents and I am tired of depressing myself by looking at weather forecasts and general climate info, so I figured I'd write a bit.
First, some weather-related notes: Turns out, the summer I have been waiting for isn't actually coming. The high temp here in June hovers around - get this - 68 degrees Fahrenheit. While there are about 17 hours of daylight, only about 8 hours per day is actually sunny. My dreams of hitting the outdoor swimming pool or the beach are looking a whole lot less attractive. When I get back to NC, I will soak up the heat like a bone dry sponge taking in water. If you are standing next to me, do not be surprised to feel a chill or even a slight breeze as a result of the sudden temperature gradient.
So, what's new? Well, today is a holiday in Germany. Ok. That's not news. There is a holiday here every other week. But it was news to me today. Not the holiday part, but I forgot that this means all the stores are closed again. I have gotten used to the Sunday thing (sort of), but when there is a truly obscure holiday on a Thursday, it comes as a bit of a shock to see the whole place close down.
Now for the best part. What holiday is today? In English, it is the Ascension. When the Holy Ghost appears to the apostles and then ascends into heaven. Or something like that. The Germans call it 'Himmelfahrt', which is now officially my favorite German word. Translated literally, it means 'heaven drive'. I imagine Jesus behind the wheel of a V.W. bus, driving himself up to heaven. Of course, my Jesus looks just like Ted Neely in Jesus Christ Superstar, so it needs to be a V.W. bus. He is listening to a cassette tape recording of 'Magic Carpet Ride' and grooving to the beat. Could it be a Volvo? Or a Prius, perhaps. Could he be listening to Springsteen or Telemann or earsplitting German techno-pop? Sure. Pick your own Jesus image and the associated vehicle and song.
What do the Germans do on this Oh-So-Sacred holiday (so sacred that the kids get not one, but two days off from school!)? Well, it is also Vaterstag (Father's day). That's nice. Dads and Moms and kids, all go to church and then spend the day together... No, actually, not at all. First, the Germans only go to church for baptisms, confirmations, weddings and funerals. Some go at Christmas and Easter too, but that's just to watch the little plays the kids put on. Second, Father's day is for Fathers - not families. The Dads leave the kids with Mom, and then go out drinking together. It's a good thing Jesus was single. He could end up with a DUI.
Most people know that I am (ahem) not a church-going person. But really, if you are going to take the day off in the name of a holy day, shouldn't you go to church? If not, either rename the day (ItIsMayAndIWantAnotherDayOff Day? HowCanAPersonSurviveOnOnlySixWeeksVacation Day?) or get your butt to work - so I can go to the stupid grocery store.
First, some weather-related notes: Turns out, the summer I have been waiting for isn't actually coming. The high temp here in June hovers around - get this - 68 degrees Fahrenheit. While there are about 17 hours of daylight, only about 8 hours per day is actually sunny. My dreams of hitting the outdoor swimming pool or the beach are looking a whole lot less attractive. When I get back to NC, I will soak up the heat like a bone dry sponge taking in water. If you are standing next to me, do not be surprised to feel a chill or even a slight breeze as a result of the sudden temperature gradient.
So, what's new? Well, today is a holiday in Germany. Ok. That's not news. There is a holiday here every other week. But it was news to me today. Not the holiday part, but I forgot that this means all the stores are closed again. I have gotten used to the Sunday thing (sort of), but when there is a truly obscure holiday on a Thursday, it comes as a bit of a shock to see the whole place close down.
Now for the best part. What holiday is today? In English, it is the Ascension. When the Holy Ghost appears to the apostles and then ascends into heaven. Or something like that. The Germans call it 'Himmelfahrt', which is now officially my favorite German word. Translated literally, it means 'heaven drive'. I imagine Jesus behind the wheel of a V.W. bus, driving himself up to heaven. Of course, my Jesus looks just like Ted Neely in Jesus Christ Superstar, so it needs to be a V.W. bus. He is listening to a cassette tape recording of 'Magic Carpet Ride' and grooving to the beat. Could it be a Volvo? Or a Prius, perhaps. Could he be listening to Springsteen or Telemann or earsplitting German techno-pop? Sure. Pick your own Jesus image and the associated vehicle and song.
What do the Germans do on this Oh-So-Sacred holiday (so sacred that the kids get not one, but two days off from school!)? Well, it is also Vaterstag (Father's day). That's nice. Dads and Moms and kids, all go to church and then spend the day together... No, actually, not at all. First, the Germans only go to church for baptisms, confirmations, weddings and funerals. Some go at Christmas and Easter too, but that's just to watch the little plays the kids put on. Second, Father's day is for Fathers - not families. The Dads leave the kids with Mom, and then go out drinking together. It's a good thing Jesus was single. He could end up with a DUI.
Most people know that I am (ahem) not a church-going person. But really, if you are going to take the day off in the name of a holy day, shouldn't you go to church? If not, either rename the day (ItIsMayAndIWantAnotherDayOff Day? HowCanAPersonSurviveOnOnlySixWeeksVacation Day?) or get your butt to work - so I can go to the stupid grocery store.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Ich gehe zu Schule
It's been a while! I think I have been getting progressively lazier lately, and considering that I was already quite the bum, I should probably do something to reverse that trend...
Anyways, let's talk about yesterday. Yesterday, I spent the entire morning with J's second grade class at the Grundschule. I had already developed some negative views of the school system here, so on the way to the school, I tried to neutralize them. "Keep an open mind", I told myself. "Be objective. Just because things here are done differently than you would do them, doesn't make them wrong - right?"
We begin the day at 8:45 am. The teacher comes in, and announces, "Guten Morgen, klasse 2e". The class responds, in unison, of course, "Guten Morgen, Frau Stern". (Names changed to protect the guilty...) Already, I feel like I have been transported to at least the beginning of the 20th century. "Think positive thoughts", I remind myself.
Next, we have the following dialogue (I am both translating and paraphrasing here, but I will try to convey the atmosphere correctly):
FS: So, who has done their homework yesterday.
(Pretty much the entire class raises hands. Except J, of course. We had gone to see the Lion King in Hamburg the night before. We left directly after school, and did not return until midnight - so no time for homework.)
FS: J, you did not do any homework last night?
J: No, I didn't
FS: Why not?
J: I didn't have any time.
FS (looking unpleased and with a sarcastic tone): You didn't have any time?
Me (Trying to explain and defend my son... Can she really be doing this with me sitting right here?): We went to Hamburg yesterday...
J: Yes, and we saw the Lion King.
FS (Laughs sardonically. Class laughs a bit timidly): Well, we would all like to see the Lion King on a Tuesday night... Well, you will just have more work tonight, won't you, J?
J(shrugs): Uhh... yeah...
Yep. Nothing like starting the day with a little public humiliation aimed at instilling a work ethic. Now I am sure there is a wormhole quite nearby, as this cannot possibly be happening in 2012.
Next, we have a round of random multiplication and division problems. The teacher asks questions such as 4 times 8 and 9 times 9 and 21 divided by 3. The kids raise their hands to answer. A couple of minutes go by, most kids raising their hands. J raises his - and the teacher calls on him, surprised to see his hand. Silence for what seems like a full minute. And he gives the correct answer! Auf Deutsch, even, although he was not able to repeat the question before giving the answer, as all the other children had done. Good job, J!
Oh - I should mention, Germans say their numbers backwards. Ok, I mean opposite of the English names of numbers. Twenty-eight is 'acht und zwanzig', or 'eight and twenty'. This is a triple-whammy for an American kid. First, he has to recognize the different word order, translate to English, and then solve the math problem. I am officially impressed.
After this, the kids are called to stand in two lines. The teacher stands at the front and asks another multiplication or division problem. The two kids in front are challenged to see who comes up with the correct answer first. The winner sits down, loser goes to the end of his line for another turn. First 'team' to run out of players wins.
When the game is finished, the kids all sit down and pull out their blue math binders. They are given worksheets with multiplication problem after multiplication problem. This essentially all the 'math' I have seen since January. Worksheets with multiplication, division, addition and subtraction. There are no applications. No connection to what these quantities mean, or why anyone would find it important to know such things. The class seems happy to do the work without any of these motivations. Well, everyone except J. He sits with his worksheet, sighs, does one problem, scratches, fidgets in his chair, sighs again, next problem, "3 times 7. Or 7 times 3. (He likes to repeat the commutative property nearly every time...) 7 times 3. 3,6,9,13 - wait - 12... start again... 3,6,9,12,15,18,21. 21." Sigh. Next problem. Scratch, fidget, eye rub, yawn... This last part goes on for 35 minutes. J gets about 1/3 of the work done.
This is why I am here. Frau Stern has been sending home notes. J needs to work harder in class. The TA labels him a 'dreamer' (which, frankly, I think is a compliment). It's pretty clear to me what is going on. The poor kid is bored out of his mind. Plus, he is clever. He knows that after every 45 minutes of this kind of thing, he gets to go outside and play for 15 minutes. He is just biding time, waiting to do something fun. The teacher thinks he is there to work, and gets 15 minutes rest in between. J knows he is there to play, with 45 minutes of waiting in between.
So, after the Morose and Mundane Math, we go outside and J smiles, plays, giggles and has a wonderful 15 minutes. Then, we head back inside for 'science'. I am not sure what the Germans mean by this - there was a whole unit on street signs for example, so it doesn't really look like a direct connection to the English word, but in any case, they are now doing a unit on field rabbits, and J is very interested in them. The kids are paired (the desks are already arranged so that each kid has a partner). One part of the pair reads aloud the first two paragraphs of an excerpt regarding rabbits, then the other kid reads the next two aloud. When everyone is done reading, the teacher asks questions about rabbits. J is paired with a visiting student teacher, so he reads the entire thing aloud. I am pleased to observe that he has managed to learn to read German in the past 2 months. Excellent! The teacher asks questions, kids raise hands and answer. J does not raise his hand. At some point, the teacher asks him a question directly. He answers it readily, and she seems quite surprised. I am not, but then again, I know him a lot better than she does.
Bell rings. Another 15 minutes of joy. Even better - after this break - SPORT! (sport = P.E.). Whenever we ask J about his school day here, he always says 'great!', followed by 'In sport, we played X', or 'During the break, I got a turn on the swing!'. What about the rest of the day? 'Oh, the same as always... guess what we did in sport!'
During sport, the teacher asks me what I thought of the math lesson. In retrospect, I guess she may have been asking about how J doesn't seem to be working very hard, but I took her literally, and tried to sound as neutral as possible. "Well, it is just very different from what he is doing back home." Defensive already, she asks, "What do you mean?" "Well", I say, "there isn't so much focus on memorization. The National Council of Teachers of Mathematics is recommending an emphasis on concept, rather than computation... The kids just don't work as hard on memorizing multiplication facts." She seems genuinely perplexed, which is understandable. Eins mal eins (multiplication facts) are sacred here - a right of passage. M is still traumatized from learning his almost 35 years ago. I change the subject. "J loves the unit on rabbits. I have heard more about field rabbits this week than I ever thought possible." This lightens the conversation, and we talk more about the things that are going well - he has friends, he loves sport, etc. I tell her more about how J really needs to be internally motivated to do things well. She asks if we haven't considered putting him in a Waldorf school here.
I guess Waldorf would have been a much better fit. But, unfortunately, those schools are full (I do not wonder why...). Besides, we really just want him to go to school with kids from the neighborhood, make friends, learn German, and have a positive experience overall. The truth is, we are fine with how things are going. If we were to stay here for any longer period of time, yes, we would have to find something more academically appealing.
We have been telling the folks at both schools exactly this - but somehow, it seems to have a hard time sinking in. Guess we will just have to keep trying!
Anyways, let's talk about yesterday. Yesterday, I spent the entire morning with J's second grade class at the Grundschule. I had already developed some negative views of the school system here, so on the way to the school, I tried to neutralize them. "Keep an open mind", I told myself. "Be objective. Just because things here are done differently than you would do them, doesn't make them wrong - right?"
We begin the day at 8:45 am. The teacher comes in, and announces, "Guten Morgen, klasse 2e". The class responds, in unison, of course, "Guten Morgen, Frau Stern". (Names changed to protect the guilty...) Already, I feel like I have been transported to at least the beginning of the 20th century. "Think positive thoughts", I remind myself.
Next, we have the following dialogue (I am both translating and paraphrasing here, but I will try to convey the atmosphere correctly):
FS: So, who has done their homework yesterday.
(Pretty much the entire class raises hands. Except J, of course. We had gone to see the Lion King in Hamburg the night before. We left directly after school, and did not return until midnight - so no time for homework.)
FS: J, you did not do any homework last night?
J: No, I didn't
FS: Why not?
J: I didn't have any time.
FS (looking unpleased and with a sarcastic tone): You didn't have any time?
Me (Trying to explain and defend my son... Can she really be doing this with me sitting right here?): We went to Hamburg yesterday...
J: Yes, and we saw the Lion King.
FS (Laughs sardonically. Class laughs a bit timidly): Well, we would all like to see the Lion King on a Tuesday night... Well, you will just have more work tonight, won't you, J?
J(shrugs): Uhh... yeah...
Yep. Nothing like starting the day with a little public humiliation aimed at instilling a work ethic. Now I am sure there is a wormhole quite nearby, as this cannot possibly be happening in 2012.
Next, we have a round of random multiplication and division problems. The teacher asks questions such as 4 times 8 and 9 times 9 and 21 divided by 3. The kids raise their hands to answer. A couple of minutes go by, most kids raising their hands. J raises his - and the teacher calls on him, surprised to see his hand. Silence for what seems like a full minute. And he gives the correct answer! Auf Deutsch, even, although he was not able to repeat the question before giving the answer, as all the other children had done. Good job, J!
Oh - I should mention, Germans say their numbers backwards. Ok, I mean opposite of the English names of numbers. Twenty-eight is 'acht und zwanzig', or 'eight and twenty'. This is a triple-whammy for an American kid. First, he has to recognize the different word order, translate to English, and then solve the math problem. I am officially impressed.
After this, the kids are called to stand in two lines. The teacher stands at the front and asks another multiplication or division problem. The two kids in front are challenged to see who comes up with the correct answer first. The winner sits down, loser goes to the end of his line for another turn. First 'team' to run out of players wins.
When the game is finished, the kids all sit down and pull out their blue math binders. They are given worksheets with multiplication problem after multiplication problem. This essentially all the 'math' I have seen since January. Worksheets with multiplication, division, addition and subtraction. There are no applications. No connection to what these quantities mean, or why anyone would find it important to know such things. The class seems happy to do the work without any of these motivations. Well, everyone except J. He sits with his worksheet, sighs, does one problem, scratches, fidgets in his chair, sighs again, next problem, "3 times 7. Or 7 times 3. (He likes to repeat the commutative property nearly every time...) 7 times 3. 3,6,9,13 - wait - 12... start again... 3,6,9,12,15,18,21. 21." Sigh. Next problem. Scratch, fidget, eye rub, yawn... This last part goes on for 35 minutes. J gets about 1/3 of the work done.
This is why I am here. Frau Stern has been sending home notes. J needs to work harder in class. The TA labels him a 'dreamer' (which, frankly, I think is a compliment). It's pretty clear to me what is going on. The poor kid is bored out of his mind. Plus, he is clever. He knows that after every 45 minutes of this kind of thing, he gets to go outside and play for 15 minutes. He is just biding time, waiting to do something fun. The teacher thinks he is there to work, and gets 15 minutes rest in between. J knows he is there to play, with 45 minutes of waiting in between.
So, after the Morose and Mundane Math, we go outside and J smiles, plays, giggles and has a wonderful 15 minutes. Then, we head back inside for 'science'. I am not sure what the Germans mean by this - there was a whole unit on street signs for example, so it doesn't really look like a direct connection to the English word, but in any case, they are now doing a unit on field rabbits, and J is very interested in them. The kids are paired (the desks are already arranged so that each kid has a partner). One part of the pair reads aloud the first two paragraphs of an excerpt regarding rabbits, then the other kid reads the next two aloud. When everyone is done reading, the teacher asks questions about rabbits. J is paired with a visiting student teacher, so he reads the entire thing aloud. I am pleased to observe that he has managed to learn to read German in the past 2 months. Excellent! The teacher asks questions, kids raise hands and answer. J does not raise his hand. At some point, the teacher asks him a question directly. He answers it readily, and she seems quite surprised. I am not, but then again, I know him a lot better than she does.
Bell rings. Another 15 minutes of joy. Even better - after this break - SPORT! (sport = P.E.). Whenever we ask J about his school day here, he always says 'great!', followed by 'In sport, we played X', or 'During the break, I got a turn on the swing!'. What about the rest of the day? 'Oh, the same as always... guess what we did in sport!'
During sport, the teacher asks me what I thought of the math lesson. In retrospect, I guess she may have been asking about how J doesn't seem to be working very hard, but I took her literally, and tried to sound as neutral as possible. "Well, it is just very different from what he is doing back home." Defensive already, she asks, "What do you mean?" "Well", I say, "there isn't so much focus on memorization. The National Council of Teachers of Mathematics is recommending an emphasis on concept, rather than computation... The kids just don't work as hard on memorizing multiplication facts." She seems genuinely perplexed, which is understandable. Eins mal eins (multiplication facts) are sacred here - a right of passage. M is still traumatized from learning his almost 35 years ago. I change the subject. "J loves the unit on rabbits. I have heard more about field rabbits this week than I ever thought possible." This lightens the conversation, and we talk more about the things that are going well - he has friends, he loves sport, etc. I tell her more about how J really needs to be internally motivated to do things well. She asks if we haven't considered putting him in a Waldorf school here.
I guess Waldorf would have been a much better fit. But, unfortunately, those schools are full (I do not wonder why...). Besides, we really just want him to go to school with kids from the neighborhood, make friends, learn German, and have a positive experience overall. The truth is, we are fine with how things are going. If we were to stay here for any longer period of time, yes, we would have to find something more academically appealing.
We have been telling the folks at both schools exactly this - but somehow, it seems to have a hard time sinking in. Guess we will just have to keep trying!
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